Daydreaming…
Or is there a more appropriate term for what wanders through my mind as I sit in the lab… I’m convinced that every girl makes this list at some point in her life, and today just happens to be my day to post it.
Ideal characteristics of a future significant other:
Height: 5′11” to 6′3”
Body type: average to slightly heavy build, muscle tone is preferred but evidence of weight lifting as a favorite pastime is reason for disqualification
Eyes: color may vary, glint is mandatory
Hair: full, slight wave or curl is acceptable, length variable so long as it suits the face shape and other characteristics, color may vary though rich browns are preferred and light blond is unacceptable. No artificial coloring tolerated.
Jaw: strong please!
Facial hair: a well maintained beard is fine, otherwise clean shaven
Nose: please no evidence of multiple breaks
Eyebrows: tamed, not manicured, but tamed
Nails: see eyebrows
Feet: see eyebrows
Dress: must be able to coordinate colors and fabrics, and to understand weather appropriate dress. Extra points for tweed, leather, wool, cable knits, good tailoring, cashmere (used sparingly), and a generally classic appearance. Must know what sort of suit fits his style, and own the appropriate variations for most occasions/weather.
Substance use: moderate to slightly heavy drinking is acceptable, must be able to make use of a well stocked bar and mix basic cocktails without consulting a reference. Extra points for knowing a few girlish drinks or good shots, as well as good taste in alcohol. Smoking as a regular habit is grounds for dismissal, though the occasional hookah, pipe, or cigar is fine. All other substances will be assessed on a case by case basis. Evidence of alcoholism is also unacceptable.
Profession: Academia is preferred, subject matter may vary though preference will be given for the hard sciences and social sciences. Law or medicine are also acceptable pursuits, if the applicant is still an undergrad pre-med inclinations will be scrutinized carefully for sincerity of purpose. Evidence of a strong work ethic and keen mind are required.
Demeanor: An easy smile, perceptive nature, affectionate, general intensity, and strong sense of friendship are required. Must show potential to be a good parent, uncontrolled expressions of anger are unacceptable. Liberal viewpoints and an open mind are also key components.
Pets: not mandatory, but no fish please. Dogs or a cat is fine.
Living preferences: must be comfortable in large cities, and adaptable to the out of doors. Apartment living will most likely be required, as well as a solid sense of direction and ability to navigate public transportation.
Ok, I think that’s it….granted there is still probably much more that I could expand on, but I think you get the idea. Now, I see no evidence that such a man exists, but then again I’m only 20 and it would be horribly inconvenient for said knight in shining armor to arrive before I leave Albion. I admit though, if he arrived in NYC this summer I could definitely be persuaded to enjoy his company for as long as he happened to be going my way.
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